His Heart Safely Trusts Me!

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her. He will have no lack of gain" (v. 11)

The amplified bible says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil". This verse, along with verses like 1 Tim 5:14 and Titus 2:5, tell me that it is biblical for the woman, the wife, to take care of the affairs of the household (including, but not limited to, finances). It may not be every household, and I am not saying that everyone has to do it that way, but it appears to be biblical, and it is how we have always done it in our marriage. The man in this passage can go to work, he can leave town (if necessary) to go on a business trip or do what he is called to do outside the house, knowing with confidence that his wife will not waste or spend frivolously the money that he has sacrificed time with his family to earn and worked so hard to bring home. His wife has integrity, wisdom and discretion in domestic matters and he has no need to question the decisions she makes.

So, as a means of encouragement, I am sure, the Lord showed me just yesterday that, while I may be a far cry from the "excellent wife" in the majority of the other verses, in this way, God has blessed our marriage and caused my husband's heart to trust me. I do not begin to believe that we have "arrived", but by his actions and more importantly his "in-action", it is clear that he knows, with confidence, that the decisions I make (less, perhaps a couple gratuitous Starbucks purchases), are for the good of our family and our home. By way of example:

In October of 2008, I was put on disability from my job for my third pregnancy. Our income dropped slightly (by 33%), but we adjusted and learned to live within our means. After our baby was born in March 2009, and our disability ran out, my job laid me off (due to the economy) and our income was reduced again by my going on unemployment - again, an adjustment was made, and this time a bit more drastic. I could see in the eyes of my husband that he was depressed. I could see that he felt like he was not providing for our family, but he was, and he is and he always has. By the grace of my loving Heavenly Father, who always provides for those who trust in Him (psalm 34:8-10), we never went without! I half-heartily looked for work, but really, I felt the Lord calling me to be home with our children. I didn't know how to tell him (as I shared in my first post, my husband does not "walk" with the Lord, so it is hard to know what I can share that "the Lord is leading me to do", and what I cannot), but I just continued to pray and asked the Lord to either change my heart (to go back to work), or confirm to me that home is where I was supposed to be!

After a couple weeks of seeking the Lord in ways that I haven't done in years, it was so clear, without hesitation, that home is where the Lord desires me to be. It is His design for the family, and the only reason that I could see for me to go back to work was financial, and He has already promised that there is no want to those who fear Him. If I put Him, and His kingdom first, all these other things will be added unto [us]. He clothes the flowers and feeds the birds, my family will not go without. I didn't share this with my husband yet. I continued to pray, then, it hit me. The Lord was calling me to do something that I never thought I would be able to do: He was calling me to home school my ten year old step-daughter. Really? Yes!

My relationship with my step-daughter is enough for a whole other post, but if you know any blended family, you can imagine the struggles that we share (and then multiply them by 100), and God is calling me to spend every waking hour with her! Strangely, I was not afraid or hesitant. All I could think was, "what better way to learn to love her than to have to pour love and patience into her each day?" and "how blessed with my husband be when he sees God's love, through me, going to his daughter, and ultimately, peace in our home?". Okay Lord, here we go! But wait, this means that I absolutely cannot go back to work. If I commit to this, and pull Gitzel out of school to home school her in the hopes that we can catch her up academically and ensure that she learns all she needs to learn, I cannot go back to work! When my unemployment benefits run out, that is it! Another means of income will need to be provided. Now it was time to share this news with my husband.

He did not bat an eye. He was only concerned about me and if it would be too much for me to be with her every day. He wanted to make sure that we made a scheduled that fit around my needs (for the gym, quiet time, etc.). He never questioned how we would afford our bills, or "what next" (he didn't even question the wisdom behind pulling his daughter out of school to give her a home/Christian education). The heart of my husband safely trusts me, and because of this, he will have no lack of gain! What a testament to the grace, love and work of God in the midst of my marriage and how He will move in the lives of His children when they put their trust in Him.

"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing."
(Psalm 34:8-10)