Is she for real?

“An Excellent Wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels” NASB

I may be a little obsessed, right now, with this passage and all others related to it, but I can think of worse things to be a little consumed by! So, in my research about being a godly, virtuous, strong, excellent, able-minded (this is how the word is translated in the original language) wife, I have found a common theme: all the male commentators make sure that the men to whom they are writing seek hard after this type of woman, praying and imploring the Lord while encouraging women to seek hard after the Lord to be transformed into this woman; however, many female commentators make mention that this “woman” does not really exist! She is an ideal, but certainly not a "real" woman! Phooey…I am sorry, but I think that is a cop-out!

Christ is our example as we press toward the goal, is He not? We will never be “perfect” until we meet our Lord face to face, but does that mean that we should not wake each day aspiring to put off the old man and put on the new man, created in true righteousness? Should we accept that in this body we will never be like Him and not long for the fruits of His Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness – to be words that others use to describe us? If our answers to these questions are, “yes”, then why should we rest on the idea that the “woman” in Proverbs 31 may (or may not) really be an actual woman, or that she is just an ideal to aspire to? If our “men” are to seek after us like a rare and precious jewel, should we not desire to be that rare and precious jewel that they seek?

So, like any other discipline in life, you have to look at it in small parts. If a person has 100 pounds to lose, she will be overwhelmed if she thinks of the entire 100 pounds coming off and how that could be possible, but if she looks at in, say, 10 pounds at a time, that, all of a sudden, is do-able! The same goes with our walk with the Lord – while we are to make a full turn from our old life and turn to Christ, forsaking sin and all manner of the flesh, God is gentle and kind and shows us the areas in our lives that He has not been made Lord over, and lovingly and gently shows us how to surrender those areas. So, let us see our call to be an excellent wife in just the same way. Give glory to God when you realize how you have experienced victory in one or two of the verses and pray, fast, implore and wait on God to show you how you can be more like “her” in the other verses.

How can you be more trustworthy (v.11); more organized (v.11)? Is your house in order? Do you need to manage things at home more sensibly (Titus 2:5)? How can you work on kindness towards your husband and build him up around others (v.12)? Do you need to submit under him in more ways, or at all? Do you respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33)? Do you do what you need to do around your home with a joyful heart, or do you find yourself complaining about how much there is to be done and how little help you have (v.13)? Are you thoughtful about your purchases and do you take good care of your family (v.14)? How is your schedule? Are you hit and miss one day after another, or do you have a schedule and keep it for the most part? Are you organized with your housework and the needs of those in your house (v.15)? Are you prudent with money (v.16) and a good steward of it when you have it (v.18)? How is your energy? Are you able to complete the tasks that are before you each day (vv. 17 & 19)? Are you diligent and concerned with the small details of your family? Do your children and your husband leave the house each day looking like someone cares for them, or are they disheveled and unkempt (v. 21)? What about you? How do you look? Do you take care of yourself, or have all the duties of home, husband and kids have you taking the backseat to your own well-being over and over again (v.22)? Are you industrious (v.24), generous and compassionate (v.20), poised as a teacher (v.25) and wise (v.26)?

Am I? Absolutely not (yet)! Do I want to be? Yes! I want my children to rise up and call me blessed, my husband also and praise [me]! Don’t you? But lest we grow weary in doing good, keep in mind, verse 25 says that she will “rejoice in times to come”. This woman reaps much of the benefits of her hard work and dedication to her husband, family and home later! But yet she still does it, willingly and joyfully because “her own works [will] praise her in the gates” (v.31). We are the crown of our husbands (Proverbs 12:4) and a gift from God (Proverbs 19:14)! So let us all wake each morning wondering how to have someone say to us, “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all” (v.29) because, we are daughters of the King, and He equips and encourages us to do all that He calls us to do! Without Him we can do nothing, but we can do all things through Christ who strenghtens us (Phil 4:13)