"She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Proverbs 31:26 NASB
Teaching has inevitably been on my mind in recent days due to the "call" and privilege I have been given by the Lord to home school our ten-year old daughter. This journey to home school began while I was exploring options for Naomi, our four-year old, for Kindergarten, and, when it became abundantly clear that going to public school would be a grave disservice to her, and the private school we have her in for preschool has received less-than-glowing reviews in the Kindergarten class, I reverted back to a thought I had months ago, "perhaps I am supposed to home school her". This same evening while praying before bed, the Lord impressed upon my heart Romans 11 (especially verse 17), "you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root" and how this applies to my step-daughter.
The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of Israel, has grafted me, a sinner and a Gentile, into the Olive Tree, into His eternal plan, and He has permitted me to "share in the nourishing sap" of that tree that was intended for His Chosen Nation, Israel. I have NEVER grafted Gitzel into our family tree. She has always been an after-thought, a side-issue and someone who I looked forward to making travel arrangements for every three months (Easter, Christmas and Summer break - Baby!). The Lord was calling (and convicting, be sure of it) me to graft her in and do for her what I would (and planned on doing) do for my own children - bring her home and teach her!
Because of her academic, behavioral and social problems, of course, my initial goal was to bring her home to teach her the fundamentals of academics, with some scripture and biblical principals sprinkled in here and there. This "experiment" to me was to endeavor to "catch her up" to grade level standards, but God's intention was to give her, "a future and a hope" because the call on our lives to "train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6a), is not about reading, writing and math, but lessons of life, faith, love and so much more. We are called to teach them the fear of the Lord (psalm 34:11). We are called to make biblical principals a part of every day life and to teach them the gospel and story of our Lord Jesus Christ so that they first will receive it into their own hearts and profess faith in Him, and then, so that they will preach it in their families, schools (where applicable), teams, groups and anywhere else we send them. Now, I realize that we are not all "called" to home school our children, in the traditional sense, but we are all, as mothers, called to teach our children, and fill in the gaps where the world, public or private, fails and flounders. It is our job to give them a firm foundation, to give them the tools necessary that they may find their feet planted firmly upon the Rock of Jesus Christ, so that when floods and storms come into their lives, they do not waiver, they do not flail, but "when they are old, they do not depart" (Proverbs 22:6b).
So, when this "mother" in verse 26 of Proverbs 31, opens her mouth in wisdom, chokmah in Hebrew, she opens her mouth with godly wisdom. This is not wisdom that the world gives. This word is used to describe the kind of wisdom Solomon received when he asked the Lord for wisdom. It is ascribed to men and women like: Aaron, upon entering the promise land; Hannah, as she implored the Lord for her son; Job, Isaiah and Daniel at various times in theirs lives. It means, wisdom (in administration), shrewdness and prudence in faith. How can the world ever teach this to our dear children? They cannot, it is our job! And it is our job to do it in kindness, gentleness and faithfulness (Proverbs 31:26b).
So back to my specific call. Gitzel has annoyed and irritated just about every adult she has spent more than 1 day with. It isn't' mean, it is true. She is a sweet, gentle, forgiving and resilient girl who is over-bearing, over-eager and full of less-than-necessary comments and "questions" that rub just about everyone the wrong way. This is, primarily, why everyone thought I was "crazy" to bring her home and attach her to my hip! But God, in His wisdom, reminded me of the great and wonderful qualities she possesses. As I already said, she is sweet, forgiving and resilient. She sulks and shuts-down when she is harshly disciplined, how much more does the "law of kindness on [my] tongue" need to be evident every day, in every lesson? How much more will, "pleasant words [be as] a honeycomb, sweet to [her] soul, and health to [her] bones" (Proverbs 16:24), than ever perhaps my own children who are less emotional and sensitive?
So, we teach! We teach the fear of the Lord. We teach wisdom, discretion, self-control and all the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). We teach manners and life-skills and we either supplement what our children learn in school to ensure that they are well-rounded young men and women, or we teach them utterly and completely if God has called us to that, but we must teach them! It is our call, and it is our call to do it in kindness. The Word of God promises that, "the wise in heart will be called prudent and sweetness of the lips increases learning" (Proverbs 16:20). If He has called you to be a mother, He has called you to be a teacher, and if He has called you to be a teacher, He will equip you to do it! Pray and ask Him to show you how if you don't already have a clear vision. A year ago I saw none of this on my horizon, and I certainly didn't faithfully apply these verses to my mothering check lists (especially not for Gitzel), but God is faithful, and He will do it!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Is she for real?
“An Excellent Wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels” NASB
I may be a little obsessed, right now, with this passage and all others related to it, but I can think of worse things to be a little consumed by! So, in my research about being a godly, virtuous, strong, excellent, able-minded (this is how the word is translated in the original language) wife, I have found a common theme: all the male commentators make sure that the men to whom they are writing seek hard after this type of woman, praying and imploring the Lord while encouraging women to seek hard after the Lord to be transformed into this woman; however, many female commentators make mention that this “woman” does not really exist! She is an ideal, but certainly not a "real" woman! Phooey…I am sorry, but I think that is a cop-out!
Christ is our example as we press toward the goal, is He not? We will never be “perfect” until we meet our Lord face to face, but does that mean that we should not wake each day aspiring to put off the old man and put on the new man, created in true righteousness? Should we accept that in this body we will never be like Him and not long for the fruits of His Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness – to be words that others use to describe us? If our answers to these questions are, “yes”, then why should we rest on the idea that the “woman” in Proverbs 31 may (or may not) really be an actual woman, or that she is just an ideal to aspire to? If our “men” are to seek after us like a rare and precious jewel, should we not desire to be that rare and precious jewel that they seek?
So, like any other discipline in life, you have to look at it in small parts. If a person has 100 pounds to lose, she will be overwhelmed if she thinks of the entire 100 pounds coming off and how that could be possible, but if she looks at in, say, 10 pounds at a time, that, all of a sudden, is do-able! The same goes with our walk with the Lord – while we are to make a full turn from our old life and turn to Christ, forsaking sin and all manner of the flesh, God is gentle and kind and shows us the areas in our lives that He has not been made Lord over, and lovingly and gently shows us how to surrender those areas. So, let us see our call to be an excellent wife in just the same way. Give glory to God when you realize how you have experienced victory in one or two of the verses and pray, fast, implore and wait on God to show you how you can be more like “her” in the other verses.
How can you be more trustworthy (v.11); more organized (v.11)? Is your house in order? Do you need to manage things at home more sensibly (Titus 2:5)? How can you work on kindness towards your husband and build him up around others (v.12)? Do you need to submit under him in more ways, or at all? Do you respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33)? Do you do what you need to do around your home with a joyful heart, or do you find yourself complaining about how much there is to be done and how little help you have (v.13)? Are you thoughtful about your purchases and do you take good care of your family (v.14)? How is your schedule? Are you hit and miss one day after another, or do you have a schedule and keep it for the most part? Are you organized with your housework and the needs of those in your house (v.15)? Are you prudent with money (v.16) and a good steward of it when you have it (v.18)? How is your energy? Are you able to complete the tasks that are before you each day (vv. 17 & 19)? Are you diligent and concerned with the small details of your family? Do your children and your husband leave the house each day looking like someone cares for them, or are they disheveled and unkempt (v. 21)? What about you? How do you look? Do you take care of yourself, or have all the duties of home, husband and kids have you taking the backseat to your own well-being over and over again (v.22)? Are you industrious (v.24), generous and compassionate (v.20), poised as a teacher (v.25) and wise (v.26)?
Am I? Absolutely not (yet)! Do I want to be? Yes! I want my children to rise up and call me blessed, my husband also and praise [me]! Don’t you? But lest we grow weary in doing good, keep in mind, verse 25 says that she will “rejoice in times to come”. This woman reaps much of the benefits of her hard work and dedication to her husband, family and home later! But yet she still does it, willingly and joyfully because “her own works [will] praise her in the gates” (v.31). We are the crown of our husbands (Proverbs 12:4) and a gift from God (Proverbs 19:14)! So let us all wake each morning wondering how to have someone say to us, “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all” (v.29) because, we are daughters of the King, and He equips and encourages us to do all that He calls us to do! Without Him we can do nothing, but we can do all things through Christ who strenghtens us (Phil 4:13)
I may be a little obsessed, right now, with this passage and all others related to it, but I can think of worse things to be a little consumed by! So, in my research about being a godly, virtuous, strong, excellent, able-minded (this is how the word is translated in the original language) wife, I have found a common theme: all the male commentators make sure that the men to whom they are writing seek hard after this type of woman, praying and imploring the Lord while encouraging women to seek hard after the Lord to be transformed into this woman; however, many female commentators make mention that this “woman” does not really exist! She is an ideal, but certainly not a "real" woman! Phooey…I am sorry, but I think that is a cop-out!
Christ is our example as we press toward the goal, is He not? We will never be “perfect” until we meet our Lord face to face, but does that mean that we should not wake each day aspiring to put off the old man and put on the new man, created in true righteousness? Should we accept that in this body we will never be like Him and not long for the fruits of His Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness – to be words that others use to describe us? If our answers to these questions are, “yes”, then why should we rest on the idea that the “woman” in Proverbs 31 may (or may not) really be an actual woman, or that she is just an ideal to aspire to? If our “men” are to seek after us like a rare and precious jewel, should we not desire to be that rare and precious jewel that they seek?
So, like any other discipline in life, you have to look at it in small parts. If a person has 100 pounds to lose, she will be overwhelmed if she thinks of the entire 100 pounds coming off and how that could be possible, but if she looks at in, say, 10 pounds at a time, that, all of a sudden, is do-able! The same goes with our walk with the Lord – while we are to make a full turn from our old life and turn to Christ, forsaking sin and all manner of the flesh, God is gentle and kind and shows us the areas in our lives that He has not been made Lord over, and lovingly and gently shows us how to surrender those areas. So, let us see our call to be an excellent wife in just the same way. Give glory to God when you realize how you have experienced victory in one or two of the verses and pray, fast, implore and wait on God to show you how you can be more like “her” in the other verses.
How can you be more trustworthy (v.11); more organized (v.11)? Is your house in order? Do you need to manage things at home more sensibly (Titus 2:5)? How can you work on kindness towards your husband and build him up around others (v.12)? Do you need to submit under him in more ways, or at all? Do you respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33)? Do you do what you need to do around your home with a joyful heart, or do you find yourself complaining about how much there is to be done and how little help you have (v.13)? Are you thoughtful about your purchases and do you take good care of your family (v.14)? How is your schedule? Are you hit and miss one day after another, or do you have a schedule and keep it for the most part? Are you organized with your housework and the needs of those in your house (v.15)? Are you prudent with money (v.16) and a good steward of it when you have it (v.18)? How is your energy? Are you able to complete the tasks that are before you each day (vv. 17 & 19)? Are you diligent and concerned with the small details of your family? Do your children and your husband leave the house each day looking like someone cares for them, or are they disheveled and unkempt (v. 21)? What about you? How do you look? Do you take care of yourself, or have all the duties of home, husband and kids have you taking the backseat to your own well-being over and over again (v.22)? Are you industrious (v.24), generous and compassionate (v.20), poised as a teacher (v.25) and wise (v.26)?
Am I? Absolutely not (yet)! Do I want to be? Yes! I want my children to rise up and call me blessed, my husband also and praise [me]! Don’t you? But lest we grow weary in doing good, keep in mind, verse 25 says that she will “rejoice in times to come”. This woman reaps much of the benefits of her hard work and dedication to her husband, family and home later! But yet she still does it, willingly and joyfully because “her own works [will] praise her in the gates” (v.31). We are the crown of our husbands (Proverbs 12:4) and a gift from God (Proverbs 19:14)! So let us all wake each morning wondering how to have someone say to us, “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all” (v.29) because, we are daughters of the King, and He equips and encourages us to do all that He calls us to do! Without Him we can do nothing, but we can do all things through Christ who strenghtens us (Phil 4:13)
Sunday, February 7, 2010
His Heart Safely Trusts Me!
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her. He will have no lack of gain" (v. 11)
The amplified bible says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil". This verse, along with verses like 1 Tim 5:14 and Titus 2:5, tell me that it is biblical for the woman, the wife, to take care of the affairs of the household (including, but not limited to, finances). It may not be every household, and I am not saying that everyone has to do it that way, but it appears to be biblical, and it is how we have always done it in our marriage. The man in this passage can go to work, he can leave town (if necessary) to go on a business trip or do what he is called to do outside the house, knowing with confidence that his wife will not waste or spend frivolously the money that he has sacrificed time with his family to earn and worked so hard to bring home. His wife has integrity, wisdom and discretion in domestic matters and he has no need to question the decisions she makes.
So, as a means of encouragement, I am sure, the Lord showed me just yesterday that, while I may be a far cry from the "excellent wife" in the majority of the other verses, in this way, God has blessed our marriage and caused my husband's heart to trust me. I do not begin to believe that we have "arrived", but by his actions and more importantly his "in-action", it is clear that he knows, with confidence, that the decisions I make (less, perhaps a couple gratuitous Starbucks purchases), are for the good of our family and our home. By way of example:
In October of 2008, I was put on disability from my job for my third pregnancy. Our income dropped slightly (by 33%), but we adjusted and learned to live within our means. After our baby was born in March 2009, and our disability ran out, my job laid me off (due to the economy) and our income was reduced again by my going on unemployment - again, an adjustment was made, and this time a bit more drastic. I could see in the eyes of my husband that he was depressed. I could see that he felt like he was not providing for our family, but he was, and he is and he always has. By the grace of my loving Heavenly Father, who always provides for those who trust in Him (psalm 34:8-10), we never went without! I half-heartily looked for work, but really, I felt the Lord calling me to be home with our children. I didn't know how to tell him (as I shared in my first post, my husband does not "walk" with the Lord, so it is hard to know what I can share that "the Lord is leading me to do", and what I cannot), but I just continued to pray and asked the Lord to either change my heart (to go back to work), or confirm to me that home is where I was supposed to be!
After a couple weeks of seeking the Lord in ways that I haven't done in years, it was so clear, without hesitation, that home is where the Lord desires me to be. It is His design for the family, and the only reason that I could see for me to go back to work was financial, and He has already promised that there is no want to those who fear Him. If I put Him, and His kingdom first, all these other things will be added unto [us]. He clothes the flowers and feeds the birds, my family will not go without. I didn't share this with my husband yet. I continued to pray, then, it hit me. The Lord was calling me to do something that I never thought I would be able to do: He was calling me to home school my ten year old step-daughter. Really? Yes!
My relationship with my step-daughter is enough for a whole other post, but if you know any blended family, you can imagine the struggles that we share (and then multiply them by 100), and God is calling me to spend every waking hour with her! Strangely, I was not afraid or hesitant. All I could think was, "what better way to learn to love her than to have to pour love and patience into her each day?" and "how blessed with my husband be when he sees God's love, through me, going to his daughter, and ultimately, peace in our home?". Okay Lord, here we go! But wait, this means that I absolutely cannot go back to work. If I commit to this, and pull Gitzel out of school to home school her in the hopes that we can catch her up academically and ensure that she learns all she needs to learn, I cannot go back to work! When my unemployment benefits run out, that is it! Another means of income will need to be provided. Now it was time to share this news with my husband.
He did not bat an eye. He was only concerned about me and if it would be too much for me to be with her every day. He wanted to make sure that we made a scheduled that fit around my needs (for the gym, quiet time, etc.). He never questioned how we would afford our bills, or "what next" (he didn't even question the wisdom behind pulling his daughter out of school to give her a home/Christian education). The heart of my husband safely trusts me, and because of this, he will have no lack of gain! What a testament to the grace, love and work of God in the midst of my marriage and how He will move in the lives of His children when they put their trust in Him.
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing."
(Psalm 34:8-10)
The amplified bible says, "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil". This verse, along with verses like 1 Tim 5:14 and Titus 2:5, tell me that it is biblical for the woman, the wife, to take care of the affairs of the household (including, but not limited to, finances). It may not be every household, and I am not saying that everyone has to do it that way, but it appears to be biblical, and it is how we have always done it in our marriage. The man in this passage can go to work, he can leave town (if necessary) to go on a business trip or do what he is called to do outside the house, knowing with confidence that his wife will not waste or spend frivolously the money that he has sacrificed time with his family to earn and worked so hard to bring home. His wife has integrity, wisdom and discretion in domestic matters and he has no need to question the decisions she makes.
So, as a means of encouragement, I am sure, the Lord showed me just yesterday that, while I may be a far cry from the "excellent wife" in the majority of the other verses, in this way, God has blessed our marriage and caused my husband's heart to trust me. I do not begin to believe that we have "arrived", but by his actions and more importantly his "in-action", it is clear that he knows, with confidence, that the decisions I make (less, perhaps a couple gratuitous Starbucks purchases), are for the good of our family and our home. By way of example:
In October of 2008, I was put on disability from my job for my third pregnancy. Our income dropped slightly (by 33%), but we adjusted and learned to live within our means. After our baby was born in March 2009, and our disability ran out, my job laid me off (due to the economy) and our income was reduced again by my going on unemployment - again, an adjustment was made, and this time a bit more drastic. I could see in the eyes of my husband that he was depressed. I could see that he felt like he was not providing for our family, but he was, and he is and he always has. By the grace of my loving Heavenly Father, who always provides for those who trust in Him (psalm 34:8-10), we never went without! I half-heartily looked for work, but really, I felt the Lord calling me to be home with our children. I didn't know how to tell him (as I shared in my first post, my husband does not "walk" with the Lord, so it is hard to know what I can share that "the Lord is leading me to do", and what I cannot), but I just continued to pray and asked the Lord to either change my heart (to go back to work), or confirm to me that home is where I was supposed to be!
After a couple weeks of seeking the Lord in ways that I haven't done in years, it was so clear, without hesitation, that home is where the Lord desires me to be. It is His design for the family, and the only reason that I could see for me to go back to work was financial, and He has already promised that there is no want to those who fear Him. If I put Him, and His kingdom first, all these other things will be added unto [us]. He clothes the flowers and feeds the birds, my family will not go without. I didn't share this with my husband yet. I continued to pray, then, it hit me. The Lord was calling me to do something that I never thought I would be able to do: He was calling me to home school my ten year old step-daughter. Really? Yes!
My relationship with my step-daughter is enough for a whole other post, but if you know any blended family, you can imagine the struggles that we share (and then multiply them by 100), and God is calling me to spend every waking hour with her! Strangely, I was not afraid or hesitant. All I could think was, "what better way to learn to love her than to have to pour love and patience into her each day?" and "how blessed with my husband be when he sees God's love, through me, going to his daughter, and ultimately, peace in our home?". Okay Lord, here we go! But wait, this means that I absolutely cannot go back to work. If I commit to this, and pull Gitzel out of school to home school her in the hopes that we can catch her up academically and ensure that she learns all she needs to learn, I cannot go back to work! When my unemployment benefits run out, that is it! Another means of income will need to be provided. Now it was time to share this news with my husband.
He did not bat an eye. He was only concerned about me and if it would be too much for me to be with her every day. He wanted to make sure that we made a scheduled that fit around my needs (for the gym, quiet time, etc.). He never questioned how we would afford our bills, or "what next" (he didn't even question the wisdom behind pulling his daughter out of school to give her a home/Christian education). The heart of my husband safely trusts me, and because of this, he will have no lack of gain! What a testament to the grace, love and work of God in the midst of my marriage and how He will move in the lives of His children when they put their trust in Him.
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;
Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!
There is no want to those who fear Him.
The young lions lack and suffer hunger;
But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing."
(Psalm 34:8-10)
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Why am I here?
As way of introduction for my first entry into this blog, I am first and foremost, a follower of Jesus Christ and always and ever endeavoring to be all that He desires me to be. Secondly, I am a wife. Next, I am a mother and a step-mother. These three roles truly make-up my joys, my sorrows, my struggles and my triumphs.
As a Christian, I have been on fire, spurred on by good works, meditating in His word day and night, filled with His joy and praying without ceasing; but I have also turned away from God, lived for my own carnal desires, been lukewarm (at best) and in grave danger of being "spat out of" His mouth. On the mountain-top of my faith, I learned to hide His word in my heart as a student of Chemistry memorizes the Periodic Chart; I studied Greek to have better knowledge of what words like propitiation, sacrifice, redemption and justification meant and I got a very good "handle" of things that Christian's are "supposed" to do: read my bible every day, memorize verses, write in my journal, fast, pray, tithe, serve, etc. But, not until I was tired of running the race and sick of "doing" my faith, not until I decided to hang my crowns for Christ on the bookshelf next to my bible(s) and journals and follow hard after the desires of my flesh, did I really begin to understand what it meant that, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me! He didn't love me more when I was being "religious" or dutifully serving in a church somewhere. Was I more effective for Him and His kingdom in those times when I was praying and reading and fellowshipping with fellow believers? Perhaps! But did He love me more? Absolutely not!
What a better way to see God's love for the world, the sinners and the saints, then to basque in it when I was abundantly aware that I did not deserve it.
It was during this time of wallowing in the miry clay, before I turned back to Him and allowed Him once again to set my feet upon the ROCK, that I met, fell in love with, conceived a child with (yes, in that order) and married my husband. We are unequally yoked! My husband knows God, to what extent, I do not know, nor is it for me to judge - but I pray for His salvation every day. I long to have a partner raising our children in the way that they should go so that when they are old, they will not depart from it. My husband is kind and thoughtful. He is a great listener and a wonderful counselor and provider. Our family has never been "without" , but only because we are covered by the blessings that God bestows upon me. Oh how much more do I long for my husband to be our covering! He "allows" me to participate in the disciplines of Christianity that I know to be essential to a strong and fruitful walk with the Lord. He has watched me move from lukewarm to on-fire and has given me space to do so personally and publicly: with my time, with our finances and with our children. Despite a drastic change in our income, he has never once batted an eye at my desire to stay home with our four children (I worked until my last pregnancy and was forced home, but more on that later), and never ever hung anything over my head that doesn't make "sense" to less faithfully minded person.
So, as I daily seek God's will for my life and where and how to better serve the Lord, my husband and my children, through prayers and fastings, God has lead me to such an obvious place, a place in my bible underlined, highlighted and committed to memory; a place, however, that I always saw as an unattainable ideal and certainly not, until this week, a formula for God's design for me as an excellent wife, a successful homemaker, a wise teacher, a generous saint and a well-rounded woman of God - Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hand to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them.
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
Many daughters have done well,
But you exceed them all.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates
As a Christian, I have been on fire, spurred on by good works, meditating in His word day and night, filled with His joy and praying without ceasing; but I have also turned away from God, lived for my own carnal desires, been lukewarm (at best) and in grave danger of being "spat out of" His mouth. On the mountain-top of my faith, I learned to hide His word in my heart as a student of Chemistry memorizes the Periodic Chart; I studied Greek to have better knowledge of what words like propitiation, sacrifice, redemption and justification meant and I got a very good "handle" of things that Christian's are "supposed" to do: read my bible every day, memorize verses, write in my journal, fast, pray, tithe, serve, etc. But, not until I was tired of running the race and sick of "doing" my faith, not until I decided to hang my crowns for Christ on the bookshelf next to my bible(s) and journals and follow hard after the desires of my flesh, did I really begin to understand what it meant that, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me! He didn't love me more when I was being "religious" or dutifully serving in a church somewhere. Was I more effective for Him and His kingdom in those times when I was praying and reading and fellowshipping with fellow believers? Perhaps! But did He love me more? Absolutely not!
What a better way to see God's love for the world, the sinners and the saints, then to basque in it when I was abundantly aware that I did not deserve it.
It was during this time of wallowing in the miry clay, before I turned back to Him and allowed Him once again to set my feet upon the ROCK, that I met, fell in love with, conceived a child with (yes, in that order) and married my husband. We are unequally yoked! My husband knows God, to what extent, I do not know, nor is it for me to judge - but I pray for His salvation every day. I long to have a partner raising our children in the way that they should go so that when they are old, they will not depart from it. My husband is kind and thoughtful. He is a great listener and a wonderful counselor and provider. Our family has never been "without" , but only because we are covered by the blessings that God bestows upon me. Oh how much more do I long for my husband to be our covering! He "allows" me to participate in the disciplines of Christianity that I know to be essential to a strong and fruitful walk with the Lord. He has watched me move from lukewarm to on-fire and has given me space to do so personally and publicly: with my time, with our finances and with our children. Despite a drastic change in our income, he has never once batted an eye at my desire to stay home with our four children (I worked until my last pregnancy and was forced home, but more on that later), and never ever hung anything over my head that doesn't make "sense" to less faithfully minded person.
So, as I daily seek God's will for my life and where and how to better serve the Lord, my husband and my children, through prayers and fastings, God has lead me to such an obvious place, a place in my bible underlined, highlighted and committed to memory; a place, however, that I always saw as an unattainable ideal and certainly not, until this week, a formula for God's design for me as an excellent wife, a successful homemaker, a wise teacher, a generous saint and a well-rounded woman of God - Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hand to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them.
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
Many daughters have done well,
But you exceed them all.
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates
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